Anxiety: When Your Body Responds to Made-Up Stories
Barbara Heffernan • June 4, 2025
Our bodies physically respond to anxious thoughts...just as if we're watching a stressful movie.
In this blog, I'll discuss why and how this happens. I'll also go into some super interesting scientific research on movies that is demonstrating how strongly our brains and bodies respond to "made-up" stories.
And most importantly, I'll provide guidance about how to use this information to calm your own anxiety. Whether your anxiety starts with worrying thoughts or a physical feeling, this will help! approach to understanding anxiety will be tremendously helpful for your recovery.
The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Cycle
If you've watched my videos or read other blogs, you're hopefully familiar with the cognitive behavioral therapy cycle. The basic principle is that your thoughts impact your feelings and behaviors, your feelings impact your thoughts and behaviors, and your behaviors impact your thoughts and feelings. All these elements cycle together in an interconnected loop.
While we generally think about anxiety as starting with a problem—an external problem confronts us and we respond with thoughts that feed the anxious cycle—this isn't always the case. For some people, sensory information actually triggers the initial response. It could be a smell, sight, or sound that directly triggers anxiety without any conscious thought process.
Understanding where your personal cycle typically begins matters for healing, which I'll address at the end of this article. However, regardless of where your cycle starts, it will cycle through all components: thoughts, feelings, and behaviors reinforcing each other.
Two Pathways: External Problems and Sensory Triggers
**When External Problems Trigger Anxiety**
Let me start with anxiety that begins with external problems. The problems that most commonly impact our anxiety share certain characteristics: they involve significant uncertainty, focus on outcomes we desperately want but can't completely control, and require us to project into an uncertain future.
We might focus intensely on getting the job, achieving happiness, or attaining whatever we define as success. Because there are elements outside our control and enormous uncertainty involved, we begin projecting into the future, imagining potential obstacles and complications. This forms the basis of cognitive anxiety—anxiety that originates with our thoughts.
This process leads to catastrophic thinking—imagining we'll encounter one problem after another and wanting to prevent all these potential problems. Since none of these imagined problems are occurring right now, we can't actually prevent any of them in the present moment, yet we feel compelled to anticipate every possibility. This mental process fuels increasing anxiety.
As we fuel anxiety through catastrophic thinking, we generate intense physical symptoms. These are fight, flight, and freeze responses driven by the amygdala and other primitive brain regions. These physical symptoms then convince the rest of our system that we truly do need to be anxious, creating a self-reinforcing cycle where physical symptoms validate our anxious thinking, which increases both anxious thoughts and anxious behaviors. The entire cycle—thoughts, feelings, and behaviors—spirals out of control.
**When Sensory Information Triggers Anxiety**
The other pathway occurs when anxiety starts with physical sensations triggered by sensory information, often without conscious awareness. Many people experience sudden panic attacks and report, "I wasn't anxious, I wasn't thinking about anything worrying, and suddenly I started having this panic."
However, once those physical symptoms appear, they typically trigger the cognitive component of the cycle. The moment you notice these physical sensations, cognitive worry often begins: "Oh no, why am I having this symptom? Something must be wrong with me. Maybe this really isn't anxiety. Maybe there's something else wrong with me."
If we could experience those physical symptoms and simply acknowledge, "Oh, that's happening again," without creating a worry narrative around them, we wouldn't be feeding the anxious cycle. I'll discuss at the end of this article why anxiety triggered by sensory information happens, often completely beneath conscious awareness.
I want to mention that whether your anxiety starts with external problems leading to catastrophic thinking, or it starts with physical feelings triggered by sensory information, the cycle operates similarly. Many people experience sudden panic attacks and say, "I wasn't anxious, I wasn't thinking about anything worrying, and suddenly I started having this panic."
However, once you have those physical symptoms and pay attention to this pattern, you'll begin to see the cycle. Once you experience those physical symptoms, you enter cognitive worry: "Oh no, why am I having this symptom? Something must be wrong with me. Maybe this really isn't anxiety. Maybe there's something else wrong with me."
If we could experience some of those physical symptoms and simply think, "Oh, that's happening again," without worrying about it, we wouldn't be feeding this cycle.
I hope this makes sense. I'll discuss at the end why anxiety triggered by sensory information happens, often without your conscious awareness.
The Evolutionary Basis of Our Physical Response
Humans evolved, and our brains evolved, with a primary focus on survival. Our brain developed to keep us safe and alive. The amygdala, which plays a key role in this process, primes us to fight, flee, or freeze whenever there's a threat.
Here's the crucial point: **the amygdala cannot differentiate between real and imagined threats**. This is where we need our frontal lobe to intervene, calm the amygdala, and recognize, "This isn't actually a dinosaur chasing me." I have several videos about amygdala hijacks and being triggered, which will be useful if you're interested in this topic.
The key point is that made-up stories trigger the same physical response as if the situation were actually happening.
The Movie Research Connection
Let's consider movies. We know they're not real, yet we still respond physiologically. I'm someone who jumps constantly during movies when something scary or shocking happens—I have a very external expression of it. Not everyone does, but many people do, and we all feel something.
Current research on movies and their effects on our brain and body is fascinating. The research demonstrates measurable physical responses to movie events. We know movies aren't passive experiences, but the fact that they trigger measurable changes is remarkable. Researchers can measure hormonal changes and electrodermal activity (the amount of sweat on your skin). These are subtle changes that vary with different emotions.
Electrodermal activity is one tool researchers use to observe physiological changes in humans tied to emotions while watching movies. Heart rate and blood pressure are measured during movies. There are now numerous studies using fMRIs to examine brain imaging and brain activity while people watch movies.
When we watch scary movies, our innate fight, flight, and freeze response activates, preparing us for immediate danger even though the danger isn't real and isn't physically present. Simply being frightened by the story triggers measurable spikes in adrenaline and cortisol levels—our stress chemicals.
This provides a powerful example of how our bodies respond to imaginary threats, responding the same way to those anxious made-up stories in our minds.
Positive Research Findings
There's also positive research about movies. Watching comedies and laughing actually lowers blood pressure—we should all watch more comedies! Heart rates can reach 40 to 80% of their maximum rate (the range doctors recommend for exercise) and can remain elevated for extended periods during movies, which could actually be beneficial.
Another key finding is that heart rates and electrodermal activity—all physiological data—fluctuate with the narrative arc. As the story changes, so does people's physiology. Some research shows that audience members' heartbeats begin to beat in synchrony with each other, which is fascinating.
This makes me think about how when we're next to someone who's anxious, we probably feel more anxious ourselves. We pick up on each other's moods, emotions, and sometimes physiological states.
Brain Imaging Research
fMRI studies show that stressful movies can trigger the same neural circuits involved in anxiety—the same brain circuitry that fires together during anxious feelings. Movie watching actually recreates emotional states accurately—the same emotional states we experience in real life.
There are increasing fMRI studies examining brain function during movies, mapping brain areas that activate with different emotional states. Researchers are using this in studies of affective and emotional disorders, including anxiety.
This research definitely connects to those made-up stories in our minds.
How to Calm Your Anxiety
What do you do about this? How do you calm your anxiety? I have numerous videos on this topic—I'll provide highlights here and point to areas you might want to investigate further.
**1. Increase Awareness of the Thought-Feeling Connection**
To calm your anxiety, first increase your awareness of the connection between your thoughts and feelings. Use this growing awareness to separate the physical feeling from the "made-up story." I use "made-up story" in quotes because I know there are real problems, but they're being projected into the future where what you're worrying about isn't happening right now.
Separate that physical response as much as possible from those thoughts. The intense physical response triggered by catastrophizing isn't congruent with the present moment—sitting here in this environment right now. It's also unnecessary for solving the problem. In fact, it can interfere with actually solving the problem.
**2. Understand Your Personal Anxiety Cycle**
Really understand your anxiety cycle. Does your cycle start with external problems? Does it start with internal feelings? Does it start with sensory experiences? If external, what types of events trigger it? What are you anticipating? How does this impact your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? How does this cycle work for you?
Behaviors can either contribute to anxiety or help you calm down. Become intimately aware of your personal anxiety cycle.
**3. Prioritize Calming Your Physical System**
Calming your physiological state is one of the most powerful interventions available. It truly communicates to older brain parts—the amygdala and ancient areas that don't have language centers—that you're actually safe.
Essential tools include diaphragmatic breathing and grounding techniques. I recommend practicing these regularly on a daily basis, preferably when you're not highly anxious. Begin doing them regularly every day, and you'll develop the ability to access them during more anxious states. This builds over time like a habit, like a muscle that grows stronger.
**4. Identify Helpful and Harmful Behaviors**
Identify behaviors that contribute to your anxious cycle and those that break it. Consider how your behaviors—whether compulsive or avoidant—contribute to your anxiety. If you're afraid of something and avoid it, you're communicating to your primitive brain, "This is really scary; I better run away."
Identify what those behaviors are and what behaviors you can implement to cut the cycle, calm yourself, and change the pathways. Behavior is actually the most powerful way to change your brain circuitry and create new neural pathways.
Habitual physical reactions get different brain regions working together rapidly. Your brain develops neural pathways where this event leads to this feeling, leads to this thought, and it accelerates with repetition. Habits of anxiety and habits of relaxation are equally important.
**A Practice Exercise**
One thing you can practice—this is just one idea among many—is actually calming your body while thinking about the situation that frightens, triggers, or worries you. Think about that situation while doing diaphragmatic breathing or grounding techniques and observe what happens.
If you haven't seen my free webinar, "Rewire Your Brain for Joy and Confidence," it explores the concept of neural pathways and what you can do to change them to feel less anxious and focus more on joy. It covers what behaviors you need to change, and I think you'll find it helpful.
Conclusion and Future Content
Pay attention to what behaviors you can implement to help break the cycle. These can include diaphragmatic breathing and grounding techniques, as well as taking walks, petting animals, and similar activities.
I know some viewers would like more information about the actual physical symptoms of anxiety, but including everything would make this article too long. My next article will focus on the physical symptoms of anxiety, so make sure to subscribe to my channel.
Another question many viewers have is, "I don't have a story." People who feel their anxiety is triggered by internal feelings or external sensory information often feel there was no story when it started. I'll address this in an upcoming article about "what if there is no story."
In that article, I'll discuss how past experiences link sensory information with emotional responses. These connections become deeply embedded in our brain and can be positive or negative. Positive sensory experiences can evoke emotions (like the smell of your grandmother's cooking), but for people prone to anxiety, many things can trigger anxiety beneath conscious awareness.
How does the connection between thoughts and physical sensations show up in your anxiety? Have you noticed parallels between your responses to movies and your anxiety responses? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Blog Author: Barbara Heffernan, LCSW, MBA. Barbara is a licensed psychotherapist and specialist in anxiety, trauma, and healthy boundaries. She had a private practice in Connecticut for twenty years before starting her popular YouTube channel designed to help people around the world live a more joyful life. Barbara has a BA from Yale University, an MBA from Columbia University and an MSW from SCSU. More info on Barbara can be found on her bio page.
Share this with someone who can benefit from this blog!
Terrified to make eye contact? Constantly worried about what others think of you? You're not alone. These experiences are fairly common and often point to social anxiety disorder, which IS treatable. This blog explains this connection, provides treatment options and 3 self-help tools.
Interoceptive exposure can be transformative for people with somatic anxiety, specifically panic attacks, PTSD, OCD and health anxiety. Interoceptive exposure is a technique used within CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
If you view your emotions as something to be avoided, squashed or feared — you are activating your your amygdala, and setting off internal alarm bells. This makes everything worse. Research has shown there are six beliefs that drive emotional dysregulation. Which one is yours?
Emotional distress : its intensity and duration is driven by certain beliefs. Learn 3 tools to help regulate your emotions. This has substantial research behind it – and an expert explains.
The main thing that drives rumination is actually the BELIEFS we have about the FEELINGS that come up from a difficult situation. Rumination is driven by the habitual patterns of thinking combined with our judgments about whether we can handle the emotions, both of which can be changed to experience relief.
You can probably recall a time when you were with someone who was intensely anxious—and within minutes, you began to feel anxious yourself. Perhaps your heart rate increased. Your breathing became shallow. The knot in your stomach tightened. Or maybe you remember the opposite: a time when you were with someone who was truly grounded and calm, and their presence actually calmed you down. Your shoulders dropped. Your breathing deepened. The tension you had been carrying began to dissipate. This is not your imagination. This is emotional contagion, and it is scientifically proven. Understanding how your own emotional regulation—or lack thereof—impacts other people, and how other people's emotional states impact you, is essential for healthy relationships. Learning emotional regulation tools can improve your relationships significantly. Learning how to lower your susceptibility to emotional contagion can help as well. In this article, I will explain what emotional contagion is, how it impacts relationships, and provide five specific strategies for improving regulation in your own relationships. What Is Emotional Contagion? Emotions are contagious. Extensive research—both behavioral research and neuroscience—shows that we pick up the emotions of the people around us. The closer our relationship with them and the more invested we are in that relationship, the more this phenomenon occurs. This may not always feel accurate because we also tend to balance each other out. If someone is very upset, we might suppress our own emotions in response. But as I will explain, that suppression is actually part of the same dynamic. Three Pathways to Emotional Contagion There are three pathways that lead to emotional contagion: Pathway 1: Automatic Mimicry Unconsciously, when we see facial expressions in another person, we mimic them. If someone smiles, we tend to smile immediately. If someone frowns, we might make the same expression. This happens not just with facial expressions but also with voice, tone and body posture. Pathway 2: Autonomic Mimicry This involves our autonomic physiological system which works in synchrony with other people. Our heart rate, our breathing rhythm, and even our pupil dilation tend to mimic each other. Our nervous systems influence each other constantly. Pathway 3: Affective Convergence This is the convergence of feelings. When our facial expressions and body posture mimic another person's, and our physiological system aligns with theirs, we develop the same affective feelings. We end up experiencing a version of that emotion ourselves. The Suppression Trap: Why "Staying Calm" Can Make Things Worse If someone is extremely upset, you might calm way down. If this happens almost automatically, you are probably suppressing your emotions rather than regulating them. Extensive research shows that when one person suppresses their emotions, it actually makes the other person more anxious. And the person who is suppressing—while they might appear calm externally - is experiencing all the physiological signs and symptoms of anxiety or a heightened emotional state. Even when we are trying to be the balance in the room, we might actually be escalating the emotions present. This is particularly true for those who grew up parentified. Adults who were parentified as children often feel their emotional regulation is better than anyone else's in their families. While that might be true to some extent, without substantial self-awareness and genuine emotional regulation tools, you are likely using emotional suppression, not regulation. Where Emotional Regulation Patterns Come From The means by which you emotionally regulate—and whether you are highly regulated or highly dysregulated—is largely due to how you were raised. I am not saying this to assign blame, nor do I want you to spiral into worry about what you may have done to your own children. These are intergenerational patterns, and all we can do is work with the present. However, it can help to recognize that if you feel your own emotional regulation is lacking, you probably learned from dysregulated caregivers. If you have a partner who is very dysregulated, the same is likely true for them. This understanding allows us to remove blame and accusation from the discussion. We can approach this with compassion, recognizing that these are skills that should perhaps be taught in school or more seriously in our society—but they are not. The good news is that you can learn them now. Five Practical Tools to Improve Emotional Regulation in Your Relationships It truly is possible to improve your own emotional regulation and have a postiive impact on your relationships. These tools are helpful even for the partner that feels they are the one who is more emotionally regulated. And as a heads up, Tools 1 and 5 require substantial work - but gradual improvement is helpful! Tools 2, 3, and 4 are easier to implement immediately. Tool 1: Develop Your Emotional Boundaries Because emotional contagion is so strong—particularly if you grew up in a caretaker role in your family—it is important to begin recognizing when the emotions you are feeling are the ones you are absorbing from someone else. Begin to visualize a see-through bubble around you which represents you and your emotional boundary. Begin to think of your emotions as existing within that bubble. And picture another bubble around the other person - give it a light, see-through color. Picture that all their emotions are within their bubble. Differentiate between what you are feeling and what they are feeling. Bring in your observer brain to look at what you are feeling. For example... "Wait a second. I am feeling anxious because my partner is anxious about their interview tomorrow. What is my anxiety about?" You can begin to see whether your anxiety is about getting them to calm down so they can perform well in their interview. Perhaps you don't want them to be disappointed, or you have a vested interest in them getting a job. Once you understand why you are feeling anxious, you can apply tools to reduce your own anxiety, rather than focus on theirs. Because if we get anxious about making sure someone else is not anxious, it simply escalates the anxiety in the room. Part of developing emotional boundaries is understanding that other people's emotions are not ours to solve. We can be empathetic without feeling responsible for calming the other person down or changing their emotional state. Your observer brain can help you think through, "I do not have to convince them. I can recognize the impact their emotional state has on me, but I do not have to spiral into desperately trying to fix something I cannot fix." Tool 2: Use Your Breathing Deliberately If you learn diaphragmatic breathing and use it during difficult moments in relationships, you can keep your physiology within a tolerable range. In EMDR therapy, there is a concept of keeping your emotions within a "window of tolerance." They can still fluctuate, but you remain relatively regulated throughout. Diaphragmatic breathing is a powerful way to help yourself do that. When you breathe in a calm, regular manner, it is actually helpful to the other person as well. Your regulated physiology can support theirs. Tool 3: Establish a Guideline for Taking Breaks Put in place for yourself a boundary about taking a break from a conversation if you become too emotionally dysregulated. What typically happens in couple relationships (and I saw this extensively during 20 years of couples counseling) is that one person is visibly out of control upset, and the other says, "We need to take a break until you calm down" (and there's usually a finger point that goes along with the "you"). Generally, this escalates the emotions in the room. In actuality, even if you are the one who appears less upset externally, you are probably very physiologically activated internally. There is a marriage and family therapist and researcher who has a rule: if your pulse rate is 10% above its normal resting rate ), you need to take a break. ( John Gottman, PhD, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work ) The problem with telling the other person they need a break to calm down is that it will make things worse. It feels like criticism and attack. It makes someone defensive. It increases their fight-flight-freeze response. Instead, say: "I am having a hard time regulating myself in this moment. Can we take a 10-minute break? I will be right back. I just need 10 minutes to do some slow breathing. We can set our alarm." You must put a time frame on it. Take a five-minute break, a 10-minute break, or if you are extremely dysregulated, revisit the conversation in the morning. Without a time frame, the other person will feel abandoned, which escalates their emotional dysregulation. You may also be feeding into your flight mode—your reactive pattern of running away from conflict. Set the boundary for yourself, not for the other person: "If I get too upset, I will take a mini timeout to calm myself down." I recognize this does not work in every situation. You cannot simply walk away from a young child. But you can incorporate this thinking to develop creative strategies of your own. Tool 4: Validate Before You Fix or Problem-Solve One of the most regulating things you can do for someone else is help them feel truly heard. Acknowledging their emotional experience before moving to "let's fix this and problem-solve" will de-escalate their emotional response and prevent the conversation from escalating out of control. I know I said you are not in charge of their emotional regulation—and you are not. However, knowing strategies that benefit the relationship benefits you. These are basic relational tools. If you have a partner who has difficulty validating your emotions, and you are emotionally regulated, you can say: "I am very upset about this, but I do not want to jump into problem-solving. I simply want to feel heard." There is an element where we sometimes have to help train people how to be in relationship with us. If you are in couples counseling with a therapist facilitating this, excellent. But if you are not, sometimes it helps to explain these concepts to your partner. Let them know what will help you calm down when you are upset. You might have to remind them, and I know that takes substantial emotional regulation on your part. But honestly, that is the big picture here: the best thing you can do for your relationships with others—as well as your relationship with yourself—is learn emotional regulation tools. Tool 5: Practice Honest, Regulated Communication This can be understood as assertive communication that is also compassionate. If you are feeling overwhelmed, I understand. These concepts can seem complex and somewhat unattainable. I have an online boundary program that addresses emotional regulation as the foundation for healthy boundaries. It includes an exercise on visualizing emotional boundaries to strengthen that skill, and an entire section on assertive communication so you can set and maintain boundaries. Healthy boundaries are not about keeping people away or controlling other people's behavior. Healthy relationships actually require good boundaries. Good boundaries are about knowing yourself—where you end and the other person begins—and knowing it is acceptable for you to have needs. Compassionate, assertive expression of whatever needs to be communicated will help the relationship. It can be done in a way that supports your own emotional regulation and possibly helps the other person—or at minimum, does not contribute to escalation. Suppressing your own emotions and needs will escalate the negative cycle of conversation. This is not about suppression. It is definitely not about lashing out, exploding, or releasing everything you have been suppressing because you are angry and frustrated. If you have taken that timeout when needed, if you have been aware ("my heart rate is way up; I am in fight-flight-freeze mode"), you will not reach that explosion point because you will have taken your break and calmed down. All these steps are interrelated. Expressing what you feel in a regulated manner keeps you in connection with the other person. Remember: it is not just what you say but how you say it, and even how you are feeling when you say it. A statement like "I am feeling overwhelmed right now with too much to do" will enable you to stay in connection far more effectively than exploding because your partner has not done what they were supposed to do. Anytime we explode with attack or criticism, we contribute to emotional dysregulation in the room. Bringing It All Together Consciously keep track of your own emotional regulation Visualize your emotional boundary Use breathing techniques to stay within your window of tolerance, aware that you might need to take a mini timeout for yourself if you cannot stay within that window Validate the other person's feelings, emotions, and experience. Pay attention to: "This is me and my emotions, and that is them and theirs." Practice assertive communication which includes compassion for yourself and the other person This is not easy work. I know that. But what I want you to understand is that emotional contagion is real, and there are tools you can use to work with it. You can understand the other person without fully absorbing their emotional state. We are not individual emotional islands. Each one of us impacts those around us. Let me be very clear: Impacting others is not the same as causing their emotions or being responsible for their emotions. They are not responsible for ours. We are responsible for our own emotions and what we do with them. Yet there is this framework of interconnectedness among us, and knowing how to work with it can improve your life and your relationships significantly. Please share in the comments if you found this valuable. What resonated with you? What questions do you have?
Said yes but regret it? This blog provides scripts for How to Say NO After You Said YES. You can change your answer gracefully and stop people-pleasing.
Is it risky to stop worrying about your health? Or is the anxiety the main problem? Here's why health anxiety itself may be the problem—and how to recover.
Anxiety Recovery requires somatic techniques and cognitive techniques and two pieces that are frequently missing from the discussion: the observer brain and behavioral change. Learn the complete approach to help anxiety.
Most people use logic in a way that backfires for anxiety. They try to dismiss the problem instead of classify it. Learn the RIGHT way to use logic to help anxiety.
