Worst Case Thinking and How to Stop
Barbara Heffernan • May 20, 2025
Does your brain always jump to the worst case scenario?
The Catastrophizing Mind
Something unexpected happens—or something expected doesn't happen—and suddenly you've constructed an elaborate story that leads to disaster, an unbelievably horrible future. Your whole body is feeling it, and you're completely lost in this narrative.
This thought pattern creates genuine pain that is largely avoidable—yet it's extraordinarily common, a widespread human condition that persists until we learn how to interrupt it.
In this article, I'll discuss why our brains engage in catastrophic thinking, why we get hooked by these thoughts, and how to tame this worst-case scenario thinking.
Why Our Brains Catastrophize
The fact that you jump to worst-case scenarios isn't because you're defective. Humans have numerous cognitive biases—ways our thinking naturally skews—that contribute to catastrophic thinking.
Catastrophic thinking is one of the top ten cognitive distortions humans experience.
Catastrophic thinking is one of the top ten cognitive distortions humans experience.
There are six key reasons your brain gravitates toward catastrophic thinking:
1. **Survival Prioritization**: The human brain evolved to prioritize survival. Our brain focuses on ensuring our survival and therefore constantly scans for potential dangers.
2. **Future Projection**: The human brain is remarkably skilled at projecting into the future. If we didn't possess this ability to think ahead and were solely focused on survival, we would simply address immediate problems. However, we combine this future-thinking capacity with all its inherent uncertainty with our survival bias, causing us to anticipate distant threats that we can't address today and may never materialize.
3. **Negativity Bias**: We pay substantially more attention to negative aspects of our lives than positive ones. This negativity bias likely evolved from our survival focus. Instead of appreciating positive events and envisioning positive outcomes, we tend to ignore positivity, focus on problems, and create troubling narratives.
4. **Story Affinity**: Our brains love stories. The human mind is naturally drawn into narratives. Consider the movies you watch—if everything went smoothly for the characters with no conflict, how long would you remain engaged? Not very long. Our brains are captivated by stories containing conflict, resolution, and further complications. The most compelling books and narratives present one problem after another, and our brains find this engaging.
There's an element of self-entertainment in catastrophizing. This might sound difficult to believe—and you're welcome to disagree in the comments—but in a way, we entertain ourselves with these terrible stories. It's somewhat similar to watching a frightening movie that leaves you tense throughout, only to exit the theater questioning why you chose to see it. Some people enjoy such experiences; others are sensitive to them. With catastrophizing, we create this experience internally without even visiting a theater.
5. **Neural Highways**: The brain creates "superhighways" of thought. Neurons (brain cells) that communicate with each other begin to do so with increasing speed and efficiency. The pathways between them become myelinated—a sheath forms around them—allowing information to flow rapidly between different brain regions when we repeat patterns. If our response to surprising events is catastrophizing, this becomes a superhighway.
The good news is that these patterns can be rewired, which we'll address shortly.
The good news is that these patterns can be rewired, which we'll address shortly.
6. **Negative Core Beliefs**: We develop negative core beliefs at a young age based on stressful situations we encounter. For some, this might involve extreme trauma; for others, it could be "little-t trauma"—neglect or persistent low-level stressors.
These experiences can generate beliefs such as: "I'm powerless," "I'm unsafe," "I'm in danger," "Other people are dangerous," "Nothing works out for me," "I'm always unlucky," "People don't like me," "My needs don't matter," "I'm not worthy," or "I'm not lovable."
These beliefs arise from traumas—whether major or minor—in childhood and become deeply embedded in the brain. These negative core beliefs often form the theme of what you catastrophize about, and they become myelinated along with other stress responses.
This might sound hopeless, but it isn't. Before discussing solutions, let's explore why we get hooked by catastrophic thinking.
Why Catastrophic Thinking Hooks Us
Catastrophic thinking hooks us because our bodies physically respond to the stories in our minds.
Briefly consider the movie scenario again: If you watch an action film with car chases and tense moments, your pulse likely increases and you might feel anxious. If the movie is sad, you might cry.
Briefly consider the movie scenario again: If you watch an action film with car chases and tense moments, your pulse likely increases and you might feel anxious. If the movie is sad, you might cry.
We have physical reactions to imaginary stories, and our catastrophic thinking triggers stress chemicals in our bodies. As we imagine these scenarios, we're partially living through them. The physical responses we experience are remarkably similar to what we would feel if the situations were actually occurring.
These physiological anxiety sensations then tell your brain, "Yes, you should worry about this. Yes, you need to fight, flee, freeze, panic, or run away." Your physical body contributes to the thought pattern, intensifying it.
The behaviors you engage in—whether avoidant or compulsive (the two common behavioral responses to anxiety)—further contribute to this cycle, making it worse.
When people claim it's "all about your thoughts," that's not entirely accurate. Further, sometimes we can't control our thoughts. We can't always control our thoughts, but if we understand this cycle, we can calm some of those physiological sensations and change certain behaviors, which in turn will reduce catastrophic thinking.
Four Skills to Tame Worst-Case Thinking
Here are four skills to develop that will help you calm this habit of worst-case thinking. I'm deliberately calling them "skills" and referring to catastrophizing as a "habit" because overcoming bad habits and creating new ones requires practice. All of these techniques will require practice. They may be challenging at first and sometimes tedious, but with practice, they'll become more accessible, particularly during "amygdala hijack" moments when your emotional brain takes over.
**1. Build Awareness**
Developing awareness of when you're catastrophizing is crucial. If we're unaware of what we're doing, how can we change or stop it?
This might require practice. You might become completely absorbed in a disaster scenario before eventually recognizing, "Oh, I'm just imagining this. It's not actually happening."
Even if you can't reach that level of awareness, you might notice, "I'm completely stressed about this, and my partner or friend is telling me to calm down, but I don't want to calm down." That's the moment to pause and ask, "Am I catastrophizing? Does this story deserve this much power right now?"
Whether you can stop it or not at this point, questioning its value is important—until you're convinced it's not worth doing, you're unlikely to stop it.
Build awareness of when you're catastrophizing, and with practice, you'll recognize it earlier. Then you can label your thought even if you can't stop it. Often we can't control our thoughts, but we can label them: "This is a cognitive distortion," "This is a distorted thought," "This is catastrophizing."
Labeling helps us gradually separate from our thoughts. Even if you're convinced you must think through this catastrophic situation, ask yourself if you need the physical stress response you're generating. Is there a way to consider these possibilities without all the physical anxiety?
**2. Investigate Your Patterns**
This skill involves cognitive investigation—exploring why you get upset about specific things. We've discussed why the human brain generally catastrophizes, but why do you personally do it? What are your triggers, and what are your negative core beliefs?
Sometimes people struggle to identify their negative core beliefs. I offer a free PDF (click here to access) that guides you through identifying your negative core belief and provides three tools to begin overturning it.
How does your catastrophizing relate to your personal story? Some people are triggered by social situations, others by work, natural disasters, or major world events. Some people are triggered by everything (more characteristic of generalized anxiety disorder).
Your worst-case thinking might be very specific—perhaps about public speaking (a common phobia) or health anxiety. Whatever form it takes, investigate your triggers and their origins.
**3. Challenge Your Stories**
When you have a catastrophic story, try writing down the major events. Here are several methods for challenging the story (the last being my favorite):
As you note the components of your catastrophic story, ask yourself aloud or in writing:
- Is this actually happening?
- What's the likelihood this will happen?
- Is there anything I can do about this right now?
If you're dealing with a real problem, there's probably something you can do about your current situation, but it's highly unlikely you can address all the problems in your catastrophic story. Focus on what you can do now.
Then ask yourself:
- What other endings could this story have?
I often recommend developing a different story with a positive ending, and another with a neutral ending. Realistically, most situations in life end with a mix of good and bad elements.
Then ask yourself:
- What other endings could this story have?
I often recommend developing a different story with a positive ending, and another with a neutral ending. Realistically, most situations in life end with a mix of good and bad elements.
Journal or use your phone's audio recorder to create a structure for questioning these stories, considering different outcomes, and bringing your focus back to the present moment and what you can do now.
**4. Change Your Behaviors**
The fourth skill involves changing the behaviors that accompany your catastrophic thinking and contribute to the neural pathways in your brain. We want to rewire these patterns, and behavior change is one of the most effective approaches to do so.
Consider the cycle that catastrophic thinking leads to physical sensations which impacts your behavior.
catastrophic thinking → physical sensations → behaviors
The first skill listed above, Awareness, addresses the entire cycle. The second and third skills focus on the thinking aspects of the cycle.
In order to address the behavioral aspect , we need to develop new behavioral responses to our anxious thinking.
Most commonly, the behaviors that arise from anxious thinking are either compulsive or avoidant.
catastrophic thinking → physical sensations → behaviors
The first skill listed above, Awareness, addresses the entire cycle. The second and third skills focus on the thinking aspects of the cycle.
In order to address the behavioral aspect , we need to develop new behavioral responses to our anxious thinking.
Most commonly, the behaviors that arise from anxious thinking are either compulsive or avoidant.
So sometimes a new behavior means not engaging in a compulsive behavior. For example, if you have health anxiety and habitually search the internet for symptoms, finding yourself in a rabbit hole of possible diseases, that's a behavior. Stopping this behavior is essential for recovery because these compulsive actions contribute to the cycle by providing momentary relief. That brief relief reinforces the cycle and keeps you stuck.
The same applies to avoidance. If you're panicking about giving a presentation at school and call in sick, that avoidance might initially give you relief, reinforcing to your brain that avoidance is appropriate. It reinforces that the situation is genuinely threatening and should be avoided. The temporary relief perpetuates the cycle.
Instead of avoiding, the behavior to develop is to do the thing you're avoiding. If you're engaging in compulsive behaviors, the skill to develop is not doing those things.
As you consider this CBT cycle of how thoughts affect behaviors and feelings, and how behaviors affect feelings and thoughts, you can introduce a behavior like diaphragmatic breathing, which immediately impacts your physiology. Our physical state can change remarkably quickly when we alter our breathing and actions.
Learning diaphragmatic breathing is an excellent tool for interrupting this cycle. People often try to practice diaphragmatic breathing during an amygdala hijack, when it's generally less effective. I recommend truly learning proper diaphragmatic breathing technique—a very even inhale and exhale, not a deep breath followed by a quick release. It's a slow, even breathing pattern that expands your lungs, pushes down your diaphragm, and extends your stomach outward.
I have a detailed video on this technique that I'll link here.
I recommend that you practice five minutes at a time, three times daily, every day. Try it for two weeks and observe any changes, then continue for another two weeks. This is about habit formation—we want diaphragmatic breathing to become our automatic breathing pattern.
Diaphragmatic breathing aims for a state of alert relaxation rather than alert stress or complete relaxation to the point of sleep. This middle ground is achievable, but it requires consistent practice.
Summary: Key Points
If you frequently catastrophize, there's nothing wrong with you—it's a common human pattern supported by our brain's natural tendencies. We get hooked because of anxiety chemicals and our love of stories.
The four skills to develop are:
1. Building awareness of when you're catastrophizing
2. Investigating your personal triggers and negative core beliefs
3. Challenging catastrophic stories and creating alternative endings
4. Changing behaviors that reinforce the cycle
If you found value in this article, please share with someone else who might benefit!
How does catastrophic thinking affect your life, and which of these skills do you think might help you the most? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Blog Author: Barbara Heffernan, LCSW, MBA. Barbara is a licensed psychotherapist and specialist in anxiety, trauma, and healthy boundaries. She had a private practice in Connecticut for twenty years before starting her popular YouTube channel designed to help people around the world live a more joyful life. Barbara has a BA from Yale University, an MBA from Columbia University and an MSW from SCSU. More info on Barbara can be found on her bio page.
Share this with someone who can benefit from this blog!
Terrified to make eye contact? Constantly worried about what others think of you? You're not alone. These experiences are fairly common and often point to social anxiety disorder, which IS treatable. This blog explains this connection, provides treatment options and 3 self-help tools.
Interoceptive exposure can be transformative for people with somatic anxiety, specifically panic attacks, PTSD, OCD and health anxiety. Interoceptive exposure is a technique used within CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
If you view your emotions as something to be avoided, squashed or feared — you are activating your your amygdala, and setting off internal alarm bells. This makes everything worse. Research has shown there are six beliefs that drive emotional dysregulation. Which one is yours?
Emotional distress : its intensity and duration is driven by certain beliefs. Learn 3 tools to help regulate your emotions. This has substantial research behind it – and an expert explains.
The main thing that drives rumination is actually the BELIEFS we have about the FEELINGS that come up from a difficult situation. Rumination is driven by the habitual patterns of thinking combined with our judgments about whether we can handle the emotions, both of which can be changed to experience relief.
You can probably recall a time when you were with someone who was intensely anxious—and within minutes, you began to feel anxious yourself. Perhaps your heart rate increased. Your breathing became shallow. The knot in your stomach tightened. Or maybe you remember the opposite: a time when you were with someone who was truly grounded and calm, and their presence actually calmed you down. Your shoulders dropped. Your breathing deepened. The tension you had been carrying began to dissipate. This is not your imagination. This is emotional contagion, and it is scientifically proven. Understanding how your own emotional regulation—or lack thereof—impacts other people, and how other people's emotional states impact you, is essential for healthy relationships. Learning emotional regulation tools can improve your relationships significantly. Learning how to lower your susceptibility to emotional contagion can help as well. In this article, I will explain what emotional contagion is, how it impacts relationships, and provide five specific strategies for improving regulation in your own relationships. What Is Emotional Contagion? Emotions are contagious. Extensive research—both behavioral research and neuroscience—shows that we pick up the emotions of the people around us. The closer our relationship with them and the more invested we are in that relationship, the more this phenomenon occurs. This may not always feel accurate because we also tend to balance each other out. If someone is very upset, we might suppress our own emotions in response. But as I will explain, that suppression is actually part of the same dynamic. Three Pathways to Emotional Contagion There are three pathways that lead to emotional contagion: Pathway 1: Automatic Mimicry Unconsciously, when we see facial expressions in another person, we mimic them. If someone smiles, we tend to smile immediately. If someone frowns, we might make the same expression. This happens not just with facial expressions but also with voice, tone and body posture. Pathway 2: Autonomic Mimicry This involves our autonomic physiological system which works in synchrony with other people. Our heart rate, our breathing rhythm, and even our pupil dilation tend to mimic each other. Our nervous systems influence each other constantly. Pathway 3: Affective Convergence This is the convergence of feelings. When our facial expressions and body posture mimic another person's, and our physiological system aligns with theirs, we develop the same affective feelings. We end up experiencing a version of that emotion ourselves. The Suppression Trap: Why "Staying Calm" Can Make Things Worse If someone is extremely upset, you might calm way down. If this happens almost automatically, you are probably suppressing your emotions rather than regulating them. Extensive research shows that when one person suppresses their emotions, it actually makes the other person more anxious. And the person who is suppressing—while they might appear calm externally - is experiencing all the physiological signs and symptoms of anxiety or a heightened emotional state. Even when we are trying to be the balance in the room, we might actually be escalating the emotions present. This is particularly true for those who grew up parentified. Adults who were parentified as children often feel their emotional regulation is better than anyone else's in their families. While that might be true to some extent, without substantial self-awareness and genuine emotional regulation tools, you are likely using emotional suppression, not regulation. Where Emotional Regulation Patterns Come From The means by which you emotionally regulate—and whether you are highly regulated or highly dysregulated—is largely due to how you were raised. I am not saying this to assign blame, nor do I want you to spiral into worry about what you may have done to your own children. These are intergenerational patterns, and all we can do is work with the present. However, it can help to recognize that if you feel your own emotional regulation is lacking, you probably learned from dysregulated caregivers. If you have a partner who is very dysregulated, the same is likely true for them. This understanding allows us to remove blame and accusation from the discussion. We can approach this with compassion, recognizing that these are skills that should perhaps be taught in school or more seriously in our society—but they are not. The good news is that you can learn them now. Five Practical Tools to Improve Emotional Regulation in Your Relationships It truly is possible to improve your own emotional regulation and have a postiive impact on your relationships. These tools are helpful even for the partner that feels they are the one who is more emotionally regulated. And as a heads up, Tools 1 and 5 require substantial work - but gradual improvement is helpful! Tools 2, 3, and 4 are easier to implement immediately. Tool 1: Develop Your Emotional Boundaries Because emotional contagion is so strong—particularly if you grew up in a caretaker role in your family—it is important to begin recognizing when the emotions you are feeling are the ones you are absorbing from someone else. Begin to visualize a see-through bubble around you which represents you and your emotional boundary. Begin to think of your emotions as existing within that bubble. And picture another bubble around the other person - give it a light, see-through color. Picture that all their emotions are within their bubble. Differentiate between what you are feeling and what they are feeling. Bring in your observer brain to look at what you are feeling. For example... "Wait a second. I am feeling anxious because my partner is anxious about their interview tomorrow. What is my anxiety about?" You can begin to see whether your anxiety is about getting them to calm down so they can perform well in their interview. Perhaps you don't want them to be disappointed, or you have a vested interest in them getting a job. Once you understand why you are feeling anxious, you can apply tools to reduce your own anxiety, rather than focus on theirs. Because if we get anxious about making sure someone else is not anxious, it simply escalates the anxiety in the room. Part of developing emotional boundaries is understanding that other people's emotions are not ours to solve. We can be empathetic without feeling responsible for calming the other person down or changing their emotional state. Your observer brain can help you think through, "I do not have to convince them. I can recognize the impact their emotional state has on me, but I do not have to spiral into desperately trying to fix something I cannot fix." Tool 2: Use Your Breathing Deliberately If you learn diaphragmatic breathing and use it during difficult moments in relationships, you can keep your physiology within a tolerable range. In EMDR therapy, there is a concept of keeping your emotions within a "window of tolerance." They can still fluctuate, but you remain relatively regulated throughout. Diaphragmatic breathing is a powerful way to help yourself do that. When you breathe in a calm, regular manner, it is actually helpful to the other person as well. Your regulated physiology can support theirs. Tool 3: Establish a Guideline for Taking Breaks Put in place for yourself a boundary about taking a break from a conversation if you become too emotionally dysregulated. What typically happens in couple relationships (and I saw this extensively during 20 years of couples counseling) is that one person is visibly out of control upset, and the other says, "We need to take a break until you calm down" (and there's usually a finger point that goes along with the "you"). Generally, this escalates the emotions in the room. In actuality, even if you are the one who appears less upset externally, you are probably very physiologically activated internally. There is a marriage and family therapist and researcher who has a rule: if your pulse rate is 10% above its normal resting rate ), you need to take a break. ( John Gottman, PhD, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work ) The problem with telling the other person they need a break to calm down is that it will make things worse. It feels like criticism and attack. It makes someone defensive. It increases their fight-flight-freeze response. Instead, say: "I am having a hard time regulating myself in this moment. Can we take a 10-minute break? I will be right back. I just need 10 minutes to do some slow breathing. We can set our alarm." You must put a time frame on it. Take a five-minute break, a 10-minute break, or if you are extremely dysregulated, revisit the conversation in the morning. Without a time frame, the other person will feel abandoned, which escalates their emotional dysregulation. You may also be feeding into your flight mode—your reactive pattern of running away from conflict. Set the boundary for yourself, not for the other person: "If I get too upset, I will take a mini timeout to calm myself down." I recognize this does not work in every situation. You cannot simply walk away from a young child. But you can incorporate this thinking to develop creative strategies of your own. Tool 4: Validate Before You Fix or Problem-Solve One of the most regulating things you can do for someone else is help them feel truly heard. Acknowledging their emotional experience before moving to "let's fix this and problem-solve" will de-escalate their emotional response and prevent the conversation from escalating out of control. I know I said you are not in charge of their emotional regulation—and you are not. However, knowing strategies that benefit the relationship benefits you. These are basic relational tools. If you have a partner who has difficulty validating your emotions, and you are emotionally regulated, you can say: "I am very upset about this, but I do not want to jump into problem-solving. I simply want to feel heard." There is an element where we sometimes have to help train people how to be in relationship with us. If you are in couples counseling with a therapist facilitating this, excellent. But if you are not, sometimes it helps to explain these concepts to your partner. Let them know what will help you calm down when you are upset. You might have to remind them, and I know that takes substantial emotional regulation on your part. But honestly, that is the big picture here: the best thing you can do for your relationships with others—as well as your relationship with yourself—is learn emotional regulation tools. Tool 5: Practice Honest, Regulated Communication This can be understood as assertive communication that is also compassionate. If you are feeling overwhelmed, I understand. These concepts can seem complex and somewhat unattainable. I have an online boundary program that addresses emotional regulation as the foundation for healthy boundaries. It includes an exercise on visualizing emotional boundaries to strengthen that skill, and an entire section on assertive communication so you can set and maintain boundaries. Healthy boundaries are not about keeping people away or controlling other people's behavior. Healthy relationships actually require good boundaries. Good boundaries are about knowing yourself—where you end and the other person begins—and knowing it is acceptable for you to have needs. Compassionate, assertive expression of whatever needs to be communicated will help the relationship. It can be done in a way that supports your own emotional regulation and possibly helps the other person—or at minimum, does not contribute to escalation. Suppressing your own emotions and needs will escalate the negative cycle of conversation. This is not about suppression. It is definitely not about lashing out, exploding, or releasing everything you have been suppressing because you are angry and frustrated. If you have taken that timeout when needed, if you have been aware ("my heart rate is way up; I am in fight-flight-freeze mode"), you will not reach that explosion point because you will have taken your break and calmed down. All these steps are interrelated. Expressing what you feel in a regulated manner keeps you in connection with the other person. Remember: it is not just what you say but how you say it, and even how you are feeling when you say it. A statement like "I am feeling overwhelmed right now with too much to do" will enable you to stay in connection far more effectively than exploding because your partner has not done what they were supposed to do. Anytime we explode with attack or criticism, we contribute to emotional dysregulation in the room. Bringing It All Together Consciously keep track of your own emotional regulation Visualize your emotional boundary Use breathing techniques to stay within your window of tolerance, aware that you might need to take a mini timeout for yourself if you cannot stay within that window Validate the other person's feelings, emotions, and experience. Pay attention to: "This is me and my emotions, and that is them and theirs." Practice assertive communication which includes compassion for yourself and the other person This is not easy work. I know that. But what I want you to understand is that emotional contagion is real, and there are tools you can use to work with it. You can understand the other person without fully absorbing their emotional state. We are not individual emotional islands. Each one of us impacts those around us. Let me be very clear: Impacting others is not the same as causing their emotions or being responsible for their emotions. They are not responsible for ours. We are responsible for our own emotions and what we do with them. Yet there is this framework of interconnectedness among us, and knowing how to work with it can improve your life and your relationships significantly. Please share in the comments if you found this valuable. What resonated with you? What questions do you have?
Said yes but regret it? This blog provides scripts for How to Say NO After You Said YES. You can change your answer gracefully and stop people-pleasing.
Is it risky to stop worrying about your health? Or is the anxiety the main problem? Here's why health anxiety itself may be the problem—and how to recover.
Anxiety Recovery requires somatic techniques and cognitive techniques and two pieces that are frequently missing from the discussion: the observer brain and behavioral change. Learn the complete approach to help anxiety.
Most people use logic in a way that backfires for anxiety. They try to dismiss the problem instead of classify it. Learn the RIGHT way to use logic to help anxiety.
